miércoles, 6 de octubre de 2010

Planning to Migrate to Linux? BEWARE!!!

As more noise in favor of GNU/Linux is heard, some people might feel tempted to replace their solid, green-red-blue-and-yellow Windows system with an unknown, shady, black-and-white Linux penguin. Some of these users, thinking they are about to enter the Promised Land, fail to fully consider the disastrous consequences that abandoning the firm, old Windows tradition may cause.

In this light, I found appropriate to let these naive migrants know a number of issues to consider before they take the leap to their doom. These issues are based on empirical, but honest observation and may bring upon me the deepest animosity among GNU/Linux fans...even so, I'm determined to continue. The truth will be by my side.

Dear Windows user, before you migrate to Linux, make sure you understand some of the side-effects that may come after you take your experimental Linux pill:

1. Your computer may become dull or stop working:

Windows is a happy, efficient world where computers respond promptly and just work. They work and work even when you don't know. They work as zombies and botnets, sending spam mail (in the best of the cases) for some hacker out there who rightfully earned control over them. Just last year, there was an estimate of twelve million zombies. That is four times the whole population of a small country like mine. Imagine! A whole country made of zombies!!! That is a happy country! Windows is a happy world in which you (if you're a hacker) command and computers react. They react promptly to Trojans, worms and malware of all forms under the sun. If you install Linux and use it as your main OS, your computer may stop reacting to the Trojans, worms and malware that took cyber-criminals a lot of time and effort to design. Of course, if you engage into irresponsible security behavior, your PC may still be responsive to them, but not as it was with Windows. Are you sure you want a dull computer like that? Who wants a computer that fails to respond to malware by default? What? Your computer has never been part of a botnet, you say? Are you sure? Then, why is it that some users complain that their PCs still download updates regardless of their preferences? They are part of the biggest botnet in the world, that's why!

2. You will be totally unprotected:
Yes. It is not a mistake. Installing Linux will drag you away from computer protection. Windows users are protected by a very strong, fortified system of placebos: the solid support from Microsoft (that usually ignores or denies the problems, but after a considerable number of users complain, gives in and releases the patches), the A/V technologies (that are always playing catch-up with the malware), and Windows Security Essentials (that are pretty similar to A/Vs, but create a much better placebo effect because they come right from Microsoft). In contrast, once you install Linux, the only responsible for your protection will be yourself...and the penguin, that by the way, is armored to its teeth (yes! that bird has teeth and uses them to gnaw malware as fish!) Why would you want to take care of your own security as the Robin of a Bat-penguin if the placebo system will let you relax making you think that it is on charge (even if it isn't)?

3. Your world will go upside down:
Beware! Great danger here! After getting acquainted with Linux, you may discover some awful truths that will make your world shatter like broken Windows. For example, you may discover that you were paying for features Open Source gives you for free! Also, you may realize that some hardware manufacturers innocently make Linux installation and support harder...but who cares? That benefits indirectly our old friend! Your printer or scanner don't work? It is your fault for choosing to install an OS that is not proprietary and therefore has no proprietary drivers. You may then realize a horrible truth: companies don't care about customer satisfaction with their product...they just care about their policies. What's to them that you cannot use your hardware? You bought it already, silly person! You may also realize that all the hardware improvements your OS demanded from you were totally unnecessary. Linux could give life to that old computer you had sitting on a corner collecting dust. Imagine if all those old computers that people sent to the trashcan were still working perfectly...yes...much less pollution and a greener world. Forget the thought. All of us will die anyway, so let's keep littering and let our traditional OS tell us we need to replace our computers when we actually don't need to! That is part of life!

4. Your rights will be severed:

Linux is not just Ubuntu. This is a hard concept to grasp and it might blow your mind. Yes, Windows is Windows regardless if it is 3.11, 95, 98, 2000, ME (Wow! This is such a jewel!), XP, Vista (Another little gem!), or Vista/7. They all are Windows, full of the friendly features you cannot miss (BSODs, system crashes, freezes, etc.). What about Linux? Ubuntu? Naaah! Ubuntu is just ONE Linux flavor and all Linux flavors behave quite differently. With Windows, things are simple: if your Windows doesn't work, you have a dead computer. Simple and nice. With Linux, things are so complicated! If Ubuntu doesn't work, then there is Mandriva. If Mandriva doesn't work, then you could try Mint. No? What about Mepis? What did you say? All of them worked fine but but you don't like them? You can fully customize them as you want. No time for that? Then try Fedora, PCLinuxOS, Debian, OpenSuse, Sabayon, Pardus, Arch, Slackware, Red Hat, Puppy, Knoppix, Elive, Unity...and the list goes on! Why does Linux have to make things so complex? Who wants so many options plus the total freedom to choose? Doesn't that crazy penguin know that it is much better to tell users what they need or want and limit the choices to 5 options most (reducing them progressively, too)? That is the RIGHT way of doing things because your right is to be kept on a nice leash (as your computer, crippled by design, is)! Freedom is for free people and in this happy world being free means being sad...and alone. Therefore, Linux brings sadness! Get Linux, get ready for a very sad life!

I could continue mentioning the dangers of the learning process (remember: learning makes sick brains!) that embracing that obnoxious penguin may also bring about, but I'm done for now. I will just sit down and wait for GNU/Linux fans to start tearing me apart rabidly. Hopefully, dear Windows user, you will think twice before falling for Linux.

28 comentarios:

  1. The trouble with hardcoded Windows users ;) might just be that they have little sense of humor and that admirable trait goes hand in hand with extreme inertia and timidity. But as a Linuxer, I sure appreciate this post :D

    Now on a serious note, argument number 1 reminded me of something I read today,


    incredible, no?
    I'm too lazy to head over and tell that dude that every PC running Windows carries a dormant latent sickness in it, and that the real disease is just waiting to happen.

    Therefore, let's ban all Windows-running computers for a healthy internet :)

  2. After switching to Linux, all kinds of inexplicably wonderful things happened to my computer!

    First, it took on and off use of three different distros on two different laptops for about two years to get wireless working. Yes, I know all about ndiswrapper and such, but remember, we're talking about newbies - and people that don't know how to program!

    How about it took the last two days and four or five complete system lock-ups to get a copy of XP installed in VMWare on my Ubuntu laptop? I'd get 1/3 or 2/3 of the way into the install before VMWare and Ubuntu completely freezes? So I try Virtualbox, and guess what? USB support is broken in 10.04 (unless you want to spend time troubleshooting it).

    What about not having support for a soft switch for my WiFi not working for three months?

    Why does my WiFi turn itself off, and won't reinitialize without rebooting? Even after throwing every terminal command I have come across for it in the last six months?

    Why does my laptop freeze every third or fourth time when coming out of sleep?

    Yesterday my numeric keypad suddenly stopped working! Yay. Fixed it after 30 minutes.

    Why do I need to use the terminal to change my password?

    Why is the broadcast messaging stilllll broken four months (and two reinstalls) later?

    How about doing updates and the blam! No sound anymore! Fun!

    What about the time I had to manually change fstab every damn time I wanted to mount a USB mass storage device?

    I like installing software - but sometimes there is no indication of where it installed to!

    The list goes on much longer. I love Linux and have used it full time for six months now. It's also frustrating as hell. I easily spend three times more troubleshooting linux than I ever did with Windows. I won't go back to Windows, but turning it into black and white does no one justice.

    Switch to another distro? Just when I'm starting to learn the basics? Oh, and back up my data, then reinstall, then restore data, reinstall apps, set preferences? Are you serious? I'd like to see the year of the Linux desktop, but realistically it's not going to happen anytime soon. Maybe if we could consolidate some of the massive number of distros, a stable product suitable for mom and such would happen.

  3. LOL! some good laugh there but be prepared for rabid anti Linux Windows fans to come at you with all guns firing, like their Guru Ballmer, they have very poor sense of humor.

  4. The above example is a typical FUD meister spreader Windows FANBOI, he is having all sorts of fictitious troubles with Ubuntu when I have deployed Ubuntu in some of the most varied machines and they run 24H 7D without any glitches or issues, machines that included latest SLI dual XEON or i7 to ancient P-IV.

  5. Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.

  6. @ Shawn,
    That Windows computers are more likely to become botnets is plain statistics. Numbers have to be black and white.
    That Windows is not secure unless you fortify it is also a reality, as the fact that Microsoft keeps imposing crippled versions of Windows. Consequently, the post is absolutely fair in its satirical content.

    @ Megatotoro,
    I'm sure Windows fanboys will not be willing to see that you are describing the sad reality they are immersed in...Fundamentalist windows users have a poor sense of humor, which I have learned from some of my previous posts.

    I liked your post.

  7. @ Gasha,
    Microsoft asking to ban unsafe computers? They should ban their own system as well...that would take care of the problem right away! Thanks for the article!

    @ Shawn,
    That's the spirit! Let's spread the worst news we can about Linux...and then let's collect our paychecks! I hope they pay me a fat check...like yours! hehehe! And what Ubuntu are you using? Ubuntu Redmond Me? :P Well...maybe it's the computer...I tried to run Linux on a computer I drew using Kolourpaint and it gave me all sorts of problems too. I'm with you!!!
    By the way...my Mom uses Pardus Linux and I've heard of a 70+year-old Mepis user...don't tell your Mom about it! :P

    @ Arup,
    T__T It seems that instead of getting Linux fans angry, I got Windows fans against me! And all they talk about is Ubuntu! Maybe their training against Linux (paid by M$oft, I hope) just covers Ubuntu...I don't know!

    @ Mechatotoro,
    Thanks! I also enjoy your satirical posts! However, it seems some people don't. Remember the good old days when I defended Win7 and you tried to persuade me to use Linux? I can't believe it, but it seems that my Windows comrades turned against me now... :(

  8. Windows better than Linux..... Mouhahahahaha !!!!!!

  9. Windows is much better...if you don't want to take my word, ask the creators of Zeus and Stuxnet and they'll tell you! :P

  10. Hi, I'm an avid GNU/Linux user and I have to say, I miss Windows. I just feel so bored not having to wait around for virus scanners, monitor firewalls or scan files.
    I don't have to worry about updates often as in Windows 7 I had to apply updates and then reboot my computer, turning my computer in to a doorstop as it needed to apply changes without me turning it off for an unspecified amount of time.
    I miss the game of poking around options menus to find how to change the layout when in reality I couldn't and my inability to remove IE from my system.
    Windows 7 had a much better terminal to GNU's Bash; I get to enjoy typing everything in perfect C# .NET syntax rather than something straightforward.
    As a programmer, I enjoy the Windows APIs for programming, they're amazingly brilliant at hiding things from me and having to use absurd typedefs and hacks to use window callbacks in a C++ class. Windows also lacks the KILL signal, which I suppose is why GNU/Linux and Mac OS X enjoys me just clicking close and it killing the program if not responding while Windows waits for the program to gracefully close.

  11. Felicidades por el artículo. ¿Lo tienes en español? Me gustaría poner un vínculo desde la bitácora de TMLinux

  12. @Jookia,
    Well, I am not a programmer and believe me, I'm far from being it, so your experience in that field is greatly appreciated. You surely made a good point there; also with your observations concerning updates and virus scans. All those little, but meaningful details are what makes us say "the more I know the Penguin, the more I miss my Windows!" :P

    @Julio Poisot,
    Muchas gracias. Voy a escribirlo en español hoy. Saludos. :)

  13. I have installed Linux on my parents computers, Pinguy to be specific, my Mom is completely happy, since she can continue playing solitaire all day, she can post on facebook, and chatting along with Pidgin, my Dad is completely blown away with the toolbars :=) and the compiz effects and the photo manipulation tools already included, I installed a couple more apps such as Gimp some other stuff, he really loves messing with pictures and listening to his music already stored on an external drive, he keeps asking me about updating the antivirus software :=).
    They are both on their 60's and they are not missing windows at all, and completely amazed by the fact that they don't have to reboot 3 times a day anymore and since I installed a 60 gig solid state drive on each machine they are blown away by the boot speed, those two are never going back to windows.

  14. @Eric,
    Both of your parents use Linux? That means you come from a family of computer geniuses because there is no way plain people, especially over 25, can comprehend the deep intricacies of Tux! I'm not exaggerating...Brother Ballmer told me so! hahaha!
    Now seriously speaking, congratulations to all of you. Whew! Your father uses GIMP already and I'm still with Kolourpaint?? How come some people still have the nerve to say Linux is hard?
    BTW, I'll give Pinguy a whirl then. Thanks!

  15. My other-half bought a new computer, with 4x the resources of my 6 year old machine. The new one came with Windows 7, and is slower than my old machine running Debian Linux, Gnome, and fully tricked-out Compiz options. My system is faster, glitzier, doesn't reboot, freeze up, refuse to work with my iPod, take an hour to configure a printer, etc., like the new Windows machine, which has been a total headache from day one. Yet, somehow, my other-half still believes that Windows is better...

  16. @ Thomas Mc.
    Well, I don't blame her. My brother used to tell me about the advantages of GNU/Linux but I wouldn't listen...until I realized I could be doing something better with my time than running scans, downloading A/V updates, downloading the newest malware defender software of the week, rebooting, applying patches, and bearing with the BSODs or computer slow performance.

  17. Very nice post, I greatly enjoyed it :).

  18. Quite a shallow observation. Some things said are just not true. Windows 7 is quite a good system, but is very resource-demanding and of course - not free. Not to say about the software which if not paid brings along a whole range of malware. Except regular everyday staff I do with my computer (facebook, mp3, office, printing) I also do DTP. But I think I can settle with PageStream (leaving behind InDesign - which really dominates), which I intend to buy. All other aspacts of computing is far much better and easier with Linux.

  19. GREAT POST! I'm learning Linux and I'm so into it I don't know where or how to start. I'm learning the shell and hope to suggest the company I work for a migration. Am I on the right path?

  20. Window make you slave for microsoft , cause you can only do what they only allow ppls to do , but linux is the best , you can do what ever you want however if that thing no in linux , but linux is Easy-To-Develop
    using windows if very far away from using computers , cause windows is just interface for few things that computers can do

  21. Reply to Shawn You can partition the disk when you install Linux in three one for root \, one for swap and one for \home. Doing this you can reinstall or install another distro and and your info is going to be safe. I hope this help you.

  22. You forgot to mention how GNU/Linux doesn't have a GUI, requires a professional to set up and use, and needs constant maintenance. Not only that, but it's impossible to install software. Every time you try to install software, you'll find that you have to install some other piece of software to get it to work. The least they could do is provide some sort of automatic way of detecting these dependencies and downloading them for you! Imaging having to open a special program, clicking on the one you want and then having to press a button to install all the dependencies! Nothing could be more complicated!

  23. @ trashbird,
    Thank you for your input. Yes, GNU/Linux comes without a GUI...I mean, it lacked it back in its first years. Now they come with all sorts of GUIS...Synaptic, Mandriva's Control Center...all sorts of them!

    Wow! Thank you so much!!! Even though I'm still at amateur level, you called me "a professional"!! (because I could install Linux and get it to run) Wow! I feel so important!! Really, thank you so much! ^__^ But that will cause real IT professionals to grind their teeth at you! :P

    Yes...and the horribly complex GUI program you mentioned for managing dependencies are just as you said "pressing a button." Nothing can be worse than that! It is way much better to surf the web in all sorts of sites to get the drivers one needs and a ton of adware, too. Long Live Windows! :P

  24. @ Gera,

    I'm glad you are learning and want your whole company to experience the benefits of GNU/Linux. However, before attempting a business-scale migration, you must make sure the rest of the personnel is not "designed for Windows." There are some people who will just refuse to learn and will say Linux it is hard even when they may be using it everyday as their cellphone's OS.

    @ dejust & Chris Carpenter,
    Thank you very much. I am glad you liked it.

    @ Borivoje,
    Right, as you said, some things are not true. For example, one is when I said that Linux causes sadness! Concerning what I said of Redmond's OS, it was not me who said it but other people. As I said, everything was based on honest observations. I wouldn't dare to tell the people who actually experienced all those problems with Windows that they are lying. You, without talking with them, did. Either you have lots of guts (and proof to tell them they are wrong), or you saying just empty words.

    By the way, you're quite naive if you think Facebook is safe! Haven't you read all the privacy issues it is involved with? Also, not all free software brings malware...and not all paid software is free from it. You are quite naive again...and speak of shallow observations! I find it more shallow when people know about the multiple problems Windows has and still call it "good." Let's raise our standards a bit!

  25. @ Pranav Prakash & zen,
    Thank you very much. :)